I was out at the mall with my family, when I was suddenly assailed by a barrage of hiccups. Hiccups that wouldn't go away. Hiccups that shook my whole body with an obnoxious gulp of a noise each time.
Everyone has their surefire way of getting rid of hiccups. Whenever you get them, people come from miles around to offer their own remedy. Have you ever noticed that?
Mine is that I take a gulp of water, lie down on a chair, and swallow the water while hanging upside down. Sounds ridiculous, but it has never failed me.
The man just laughed some more and asked me how she had scared me:
"Did she threaten to take away your allowance?"
...Hold on a second. What?
I've always been a little slow on the uptake. When I was a kid, I was always the one that said "Oh yeah?!" to an insult, only to think of a particularly clever comeback hours later after I agonized over it repeatedly.
In this case, I guess I could have said something as simple as: "Yeah, an allowance would really help me pay my monthly rent. In this studio apartment. Where I live by myself. Granted it's a minimalist space right now. But still."
Instead, I only said no and tried to ignore him.
He didn't get the hint.
"Did she threaten to not drive you home? Do you have to walk or something?"
Now, I was not the kind of kid that ever got an allowance, so I don't know the age stipulations on such a statement. Does this make me...a high-schooler? A middle-schooler? ...An elementary school student? I'm not sure.