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What we should learn from Disney Princesses, part two

10/4/2011

2 Comments

 
I've found that a lot of what I play at CalArts can be termed as "flutey stuff."  And let me explain this a little.

Last year, I had the privilege of taking part of a theater production called "Wounded."  I was thrown in last minute as the previous flutist was unable to match up his schedule.  When I signed on, I was asked, "Have you done a lot of improvisation before?"

As a musician, there is always that slight pause when someone asks you this kind of question.  It's a mini-morality battle, if you will.  Do you lie and look suave and get the gig...only to be revealed as an imposter and get chased out of rehearsals with pitchforks and torches ablaze?  Or do you tell the truth and risk looking incompetent?

Me:  "No..."


Music Director:  "Great!  This is a great place to start!"

I found there was hardly any written music for us.  Most of the time, during the show, the music director would point at me and hiss, "Play!  Play some flutey stuff here!"

Of course I had no idea what this meant...but apparently I had to "feel" the scene or the moment and had to react to whatever was happening on stage.  Hence, "flutey stuff".  I don't know how many times I heard this term for the few weeks I was part of this production.  So much so that my friends and I joked that I should release a CD called "flutey stuff".

Anyway, I digress from the main topic of this blog.  It's been over a month since I last posted, and I do apologize for that.  I've been doing a lot of flutey stuff in the meantime.

Next in our "Disney Princesses" series is:
Picture
once upon a time...
Snow White.  Yes...here is another princess that loses her father and continues to clean for her evil stepmother.  Oh yeah, and for the seven little men that she meets after.  Plus, note in the above picture the affinity with other animals, which we will find to be a continuing theme.

Let's start with the beginning of this movie.

"Someday my prince will come" is the first song we hear from our heroine.

What?  You're in rags, soaping up the steps of some gimungous castle...your father is dead, your stepmother is evil (and decidedly crazy...I mean, she talks rhymes into a mirror)......and this is your biggest concern?

Again, the same questions with Cinderella apply here.  Why don't you leave??  Why don't you go find work at some other castle?  The same circus as Cinderella?  Why the heck don't you go FIND your prince?  Yeah?  Someday your prince will come?  That's awfully vague.

Second:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VE08AxkIQQ4&feature=related

This is like watching a scene from a horror movie where you're shouting at the big-chested heroine to pleeease think it through!
Didn't Snow White ever learn about "stranger danger"?  Actually...considering the fact that she moves in with 7 other strange guys...maybe not.

But please, Snow White.  And kids, learn from her mistake.  Number one:  do not tell a stranger that you are alone in the house (especially if she leers creepily around and appears to know the details to your living situation).  Number two:  if there is one red apple in a basket of green ones, do not eat the red one.  Number three:  if your cute little animal friends are trying to warn you about something, you should pay attention.  Seriously.

But the biggest...absolute BIGGEST problem I have with Snow White is this:
Picture
You know what Snow White is on right now?  A COFFIN.  What kind of guy comes across a girl in a coffin and thinks, "Hey, I'll give that chick a smooch on the pecker."

Put yourself in Snow White's shoes.  She doesn't know this guy.  Never met him or talked to him.  And the only point of reference she has is that...oh hey!  He kissed her while she was dead.  That one's a real keeper.

And seven dwarves?  Come on!  Do your job!  You really just let some strange guy come in and kiss Snow White?  That is not cool.

This is a total side note...but who are the dwarves?  Did they escape Middle Earth?  Are they all related?  Or were they some kind of outcast dwarves that formed a support group because of the bizarre qualities that they possessed?

I totally sense spin-off material here.
Picture
What were they really mining for?
2 Comments
Isabelle
10/4/2011 10:18:03 am

I feel like Snow White and Charming should have gotten together. They both have ridiculous names. . . But then where would that leave Cinderella? . . I suppose she could do the housework.

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Elaine
10/4/2011 12:17:10 pm

Yeah...what was the name of the prince in Snow White? I thought it was Philip at first...but that's Sleeping Beauty. I think we should give him a set name...like..Prince Clueless.

And I stand by original declaration. Cinderella should run off to join the circus.

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    tisburelaine.

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